Fear or Love of God

                                   LOVE


After I wrote my last post, "Motivated by Fear or Love" (check it out here if you missed it,  http://stacyneus.blogspot.com/2013/01/motivated-by-fear-or-love.html), I asked myself, "What about my relationship with God?"  Do I relate to Him out of fear or love?

You can ask yourself these same questions.

1) Do I feel secure that God loves me?

2) Do I know God wants the best for me?

If you answered "yes" to #1 and #2 you may be relating to God out of love.  If you answered "no", you probably relate to God out of fear.

Steps to relate to God out of love.

1.  Understand God's LOVE
When you realize the Bible describes God's character of love, you will understand how you can love Him back.  God absolutely wants the best for you.  That doesn't mean what He thinks is best for you always matches what you think.  But, the God who created you, loves you enough to provide a way for you to have a friendship with Him.  You can relate to God with love.

When you don't understand God's love, you may try to please Him by "doing" good.  And you try to please God because you are afraid of what He might do to you, fearful He will harm you.  You may think, "If I just pray more, or if I just give more to the poor, then God will be pleased with me."  You only ask for God's mercy (not punish you when you deserve it).

2.  Understand God's GRACE 
In reality, God says you can never do enough good works to earn a relationship with Him (Ephesians 2:8-9).  It is a gift (grace).  When Jesus died on the cross, He paid the penalty for your sin.  If you believe in the Jesus of the Bible (the God of love) you too can relate to God with love.

But wait!  Doesn't the Bible say we should fear the Lord?  Yes, it does.  And sometimes the Bible says "Do not fear."  Does the Bible contradict itself?  No.  The word "fear" can be used in different ways. 

3.  Understand God's positive "FEAR"

Proverbs 14:26 and 27 says, "In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, And his children will have refuge. 27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, That one may avoid the snares of death.

Here,the Bible uses the word "fear"very positively and differently than what we might think of when we use the word "fear".  We think of cowarding in the corner because we are frightened.  The word "fear" here means, "fear, terror, fearing; awesome or terrifying thing (object causing fear); fear (of God), respect, reverence, piety; revered."*   According to these verses, the result of this "fear"is "strong confidence, refuge, fountain of life, avoid the snares of death."   This is definitely not cowarding in a corner.   We should fear God, respect and revere Him, because of who he is (all-powerful, perfect, hates sin) and not for what He might do to us.

I shouldn't leave out the "Do not fear."  One of the first "Do not fear" messages (over 70 x in Bible)**, God says to Hagar regarding Ishmael (Gen. 21:17) God heard the lad crying ; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter with you, Hagar ? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is.
Hagar was not to fear because God saw her and would take care of her and Ishmael (HIS LOVE, AND GRACE). 

So we've come full circle.  When we "fear" God as He deserves, we can know His love and grace and relate to Him out of love, not duty or negative, cowarding fear.

Lastly, because we can relate to God as a Father/daughter (or Father/son) relationship, I think of my girls.  I want them to obey me, but not out of duty, or obligation.  I want them to respect me, not because I demand it (which I wrongly do sometimes), but because I deserve it (probably don't sometimes, but I am their mommy).  I want them to obey me out of love and respect.  God wants the same for us.  He deserves love because HE IS GOD.  Yet, He does not demand it.  We choose to obey him, or not.  He would love our lives to reflect His love in this fearful world. 

What about you?  Do you act out of love or negative fear?
How can this change?  Remember His Love, His Grace, and positive Fear.
 

*http://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/hebrew/nas/yirah.html

** http://www.biblestudytools.com/search/?q=Do+not+fear&c=&t=nas&ps=10&s=Bible

 Linked up with:Jolene Engle, http://www.lauraboggess.com/, http://www.thebettermom.com/, Kathy at cornerstoneconfessions; A Holy Experience

Motivated by Fear or Love

A friend of mine told me her mother that lives out of state is coming to town soon.  I thought that was great news, but she didn't agree.  I'm still trying to figure out her relationship with her mom.  But I've gotten the feeling her mom puts pressure on her to be perfect.  The last time she visited, her mom commented that her kleenex box had dust on it.  Her Mom may have meant nothing by it (or maybe she did?), but my friend took it as, "Great.  Even the kleenex box is inspected."  My friend had a list for her home to be "perfect" when her mom arrived.

Can you relate?  It may not be a clean house, but you have some perfection pressure.

Maybe at work your boss is hard to please.  Haunting, unrealistic deadlines leave you frustrated.  You work so hard, yet rarely feel you've accomplished enough.  Or, maybe it's not a boss.  It's perfection pressure you've dumped on yourself.

Or at home: If you are married, the pressure of a "perfect" marriage.  Children bring "perfect" parenting nightmares.  Single, divorced, or widowed have pressures of their own.

Physically: You must have the "perfect" body.  You must eat healthier, drink your water, cook more and eat out less, exercise, blah, blah, blah.

I could go on and on, but it stresses me out too much. 

It hit me today.  The pressure I put on myself to have life together comes from one of two different motivators.  I'm either motivated by fear, or motivated by love.

If I'm motivated out of fear I:

1) Expect recognition
2) Expect perfection
3) Experience frustration

For example, when I clean my house for my family and I'm motivated by fear, it may look like this.  I work hard thinking, "I need to get this all done to please my husband (which he usually doesn't care about perfection, and would rather have clean underwear).  If my house isn't perfect, he won't love me as much (exaggerated fear, of course).  I work only to get the job done, wondering what else I could be doing with the time, grumbling and complaining.  I scrub with a bad attitude trying to meet the perfection standard.  If my husband gets home and doesn't say anything about my clean house, I've failed.  My perfection standard leaves me frustrated.  Again.  No wonder I get defensive if he notices the one chore I didn't finish.  I  say, "but I did ____, and _______, and ______."  Why?  Motivated by fear.

However,
If I'm motivated by love I:

1) Don't need a pat on the back, or words of affirmation.
2) Don't strive for perfection, but satisfied with a job done with my best effort.
3) Don't freak out about work that seems redundant or mundane.

So my cleaning effort looks like this:  I clean my house because I love my husband and girls.  I use my time to sing praises at the top of  my lungs, pray for others, and practice scripture memory.  When I dust, I ask God to show me what parts of my life He wants to clean.  When my husband comes home and asks me for clean socks when I didn't do whites that day, I say, "I'm sorry.  I didn't wash whites, but I would love to do them for you."  No excuses.  No bad attitude. (My husband is still waiting for the day of no excuses). Why?  I want to be motivated by love. 

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

You can apply this motivation question to any task at home, work, or school, and even church.
What about you? What motivates you? Fear or Love?


Linked up with:Jolene Engle, http://www.lauraboggess.com/, http://www.thebettermom.com/, Kathy at cornerstoneconfessions; A Holy Experience

Lessons from Last Year's Fear (3rd and final part)

The story continues...(You may to read the last two posts to catch up)  My daughter, J,  came home from the hospital around 5:00 p..m.

Reasons I survived...
1)  God's preparation

I was reading "Experiencing God Day By Day" by Henry and Richard Blackaby for my quiet time.  The day before J went to the ER with swelling in her ankles and an odd rash on her legs, the scripture reference was Romans 14:23, "But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin."  The writers say, "Whenever God reveals something, He expects us to believe Him and adjust our lives accoringly.  What does this mean?  It means we trust Him implicity for all our needs (Phil. 4:19)...It means we approach crises with the assurance that God will bring good from them (Romans 8:28).  It means we overcome anxiety during stressful situations because God instructs us to bring our requests to Him. (Phil. 4:6)...Faithlessnes is sin.  "But without faith it is impossible to please Him (Heb. 11:6)".  And the day J would go to the hospital, God prepared me with another devotion about Phil. 4:6, "Be anxious for nothing..." 

God used scriptures to prepare me. 
 Phil. 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God.”  I love verse 7, “and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”  I experienced these verses the day my daughter couldn't walk in the hospital. 

2) God's provision
The next day, the girls had a snow day and went to play with some friends.  I noticed some bruising on my J's ankles, where she had swelling previously. I called her Dr. and he said he would try to get her scheduled with a rheumatologist.  I called my rheumatologist neighbor (God's provision) to discuss J's symptoms and ask for advice.  After dinner, J complained of being cold so she went to take a shower.  When she got out, her knees were swollen and she couldn't walk without a limp.  I called my neighbor back and explained her knees were swollen and her rash was bigger.  She and her husband, cardiologist, (God's provision) came over to look at J.  They felt we could give her ibuprofen and wait until our next day appointment with our pediatrician.  

 The next morning (Friday), J’s swelling in her knees had subsidedr.  We continued to give her ibuprofen.  I texted our rheumatologist neighbor to see if she could help us see a pediatric rheumatologist.  She spoke with one on call that day.  When we saw our pediatrician, he called the rheumatologist and spoke with her about J's case, while we were there that day.   Our pediatrician thought she had HSP (Henloch Schonlein Purpurar) with the migrating arthritis and rash.  It is an inflammatory reaction of the immune system to medication, or after strept.  We had an appointment with the rheumatologist the following Monday (totally a God-thing to get into a specialist so quickly).

3)  God's protection
J felt great over the weekend.  We kept her on continuous ibuprofen and waited for our Monday appointment (Valentine’s Day).  We thought we would go and hear, “Yes, she has HSP…no worries.”  However, she did not confirm the diagnosis and thought she had acute rheumatic fever.  With rheumatic fever, J could have had heart problems, none.  With the HSP, she could have had kidney problems, none.  God is good.   The Dr. prescribed prophylaxis antibiotics until she is 21 years old to prevent J from ever getting strept again.  If she gets strept, she could get the rheumatic fever again, with possible damage to her heart.

J had another echocardiogram that same week.  Heart: perfect.  Three months later, J went to a pediatric cardiologist.  He said she did not have any effects, and won't, from this episode of rheumatic fever.  Praise the Lord!

God prepared me, provided health care when we needed it, and protected J through it all.  Most importantly, I learned lessons about fear and faith I can apply for years to come. 

What is God teaching you about fear or faith? 


Linked up to:http://biblelovenotes.blogspot.com/p/friday-blog-hop.html

Lessons from Last Year's Fear Part II

The story continues... (you may need to read the last post first " Lessons from Last Year's Fear")

The ER Dr. admitted her into the hospital over night because she couldn’t walk.  The next morning, she still had difficulty walking to the bathroom, but progressively got better throughout the day.  The pediatric Dr. took blood work and decided to do a heart echocardiogram and EKG due to elevated  white blood count (WBC )and sed rate (rate of inflammation).  Everything checked out fine, praise the Lord!  The Dr. discharged her because clinically she was much better, but he couldn’t explain why she got better so quickly.  He also warned that , "she may not be out of the woods yet".  Even though all the tests showed her heart functioning normally, it did not mean her heart wouldn’t be affected later.  He instructed us to call our pediatrician if there were any changes.  She finally came home around 5:00 p.m.

The snow storm came as expected, making the roads questionable for travel.   A friend offered to take me to see her in the hospital, but we thought she would be home sooner than she did.  I also had two other girls to consider.  So, my battle continued.  Faith or Fear?  Besides the step I shared in the last post (Focus on the Present), I also had to:

 

I.                      Focus on the Proof.

 With my daughter, I had to focus on truth, the facts, not fantasy.  The facts: she had strept throat, taking medication, swollen ankles, rash, not walking, ER, tests, good test results.  Later: feeling better and home.  Fantasy:  internet search.  I had Jadyn dying of leukemia in three weeks.  I continually had to ask, "What are the facts?"

Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (NIV)

To overcome fear, I also had to:

 II.                  Focus on the Plan.

With my daughter, I had to choose a  plan of action.  I needed freedom from fear, or

my inaction would freeze me with fear.

I took these three actions:

           1) Prayer 
          I prayed and called my family to pray, even at 11:00 p.m.  

Philippians 4:6 says,“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

                             2)  Profess Promises

Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

                      I claimed the promise of peace.  If I would pray with thanksgiving like Philippians 4:6 says, the promise of peace in verse 7 results.  I needed peace to guard my heart and especially my mind.  I experienced the peace beyond what I could understand just as verse 7 promises.   

                                3) Praise

I cranked the music and praised God during the day, sometimes singing at the top of my lungs.  I could not stay fearful when I focused on God, not self.

I'd like to say that is the end of the story.  She came home and we lived happily ever after.  But "happily ever after" stories only happen in fairy tales.  I'll share the rest next time.
 (You may want to sign up by e-mail or join this site, so easy to do.  God Bless!   

What about you?  What action do you need to take with your fears?  Do you need to pray about a situation, instead of fear.  Profess the promise of Philippians 4:6-7 to have peace?  Or praise to place the focus on God?

To continue the story:  Lessons from Last Year's Fear Part III

Lessons from Last Year's Fear

Last February, my middle daughter, seven-years-old, had a sore throat one Friday morning with no fever, so off to school she went.  She felt fine over the weekend.  However, the next week she ran a fever and complained of headaches off and on, but felt fine with medication.  3 a.m. Sunday morning (of course it’s the weekend), I called a triage nurse.  He thought she probably just had a mild case of the flu, even though she had a flu shot, and recommended waiting until Monday morning to see our doctor.  By Sunday evening (Super Bowl Sunday), she had an excruciating earache.  So, off to urgent care we went.  She had a bulging ear drumb (that bursted later that night, ouch!) and was diagnosed with strept throat.  (Never saw that coming!)  She started antibiotics; and we were sure she would be better in no time.

However, On Tuesday, we went to a Oklahoma City Thunder basketball game (Go Thunder!) for Upward basketball night.  By the end of the night, she complained that she couldn’t walk.  When we got home, we noticed her ankles were swollen and a rash on the lower part of her legs.  After a phone call to triage, the nurse said we could wait until the next day to see our doctor, but she was not sure if they would be open because of the predicted record snow storm.  My husband took her to the ER.  The doctors weren’t sure what was wrong.  Now the decision for me, fear? Or faith?  Through this trial, God taught me some steps to take to deal with fear.  

 

I.                    Focus on the Present

  Matthew 6: 27 - 34 says,  "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life ? 28 "And why are you worried about clothing ? Observe how the lilies of the field grow ; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?  You of little faith ! 31 "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will wear for clothing?' 32 "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things ; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "So do not worry about tomorrow ; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

With my daughter, I had to focus on the present, not the future.  The present: my daughter had to go to the ER.   I should not worry about the future: how long she would be there, how we would deal with a child in the hospital for months, or how would this change our lives in the future.  Of course, this was a moment by moment choice.  When Satan tempted me to worry about the future, I had to  remember these verses.

I'll share some more of the story and the other steps next time. 

What fear do you have that you should focus on the present?

To continue the story: Lessons from Last Years Fear Part II

Potholes of Fear

I'm sure you are like me and your first thoughts of the day were about potholes.  OK, maybe not. (Hopefully not).  I can justify my madness, unlike other times.  I spoke about fear, to some wonderful, Jesus following, ladies at a retreat today.  The title of my session was, "Avoiding the Potholes of Fear" to go along with the theme "Life's a Trip."  I pondered on my notes one more time this morning and thoughts began to spill.

I remember driving my first car, a blue 1988 Suzuki Samurai (no a/c because what sixteen-year-old needs a/c in small town Oklahoma where you drive less than one mile to church and school and only three miles to work?  Only God knew that I'd drive that way until I got married at age twenty-five) down backroads in a miserably hot summer (no a/c remember), in smaller rural Oklahoma for my summer college job at a bank.  I don't believe anyone took responsibility for road maintenance.  The roads, heavily traveled by combines, semi-trucks, and local pickups remotely looked like pavement, resembling more of a battle field of potholes, better described as craters.  I thought about how potholes can represent fear, especially unwarranted, "what ifs" fear.

1)  Like potholes, fear causes damage.

Potholes can cause serious damage to your vehicle: changing alignment, bursting tires, scraping who knows what under your car, and can even cause you to wreck.  Fear also changes our "alignment with God".  It changes our focus from Jesus to us and our fears.  It may cause us to veer off the road God wants us to travel.    

2)  Like potholes, fear causes detours.

Potholes get bigger with time, overtaking pavement if not filled.  Eventually (unless in rural Oklahoma), the road temporarily closes for repair, resulting in detours.  People cannot use the road, the purpose for which it was made.  Our fear can grow if not properly assessed and diverted.  Our lives, wrecked by fear, hold a "temporarily closed" sign that God cannot use us as He desires.

3)  Like potholes, fear causes deceleration.
Potholes require us to slow down and concentrate on the potholes, rather than the road.  Fear causes us to slow down in our spiritual growth.  

4)  Like potholes, fear causes us to be desensitized.

After a while, the road of potholes no longer require our full attention.  We drive comfortably on the rugged road, knowing exactly where to swerve and accepting the fact that the maintenance crew may never repair the road.  With fear, we desensitize to its presence in our lives.  We wrongly concede to time-wasting, peaceless fear, believing the lie that fear does not affect us enough to care.  And honestly, may not care to change because we live contently with our fear, unable to imagine life any differently.

God desires us to live in freedom from fear, filling our frightening potholes of fear with faith.  The Bible teaches us how to overcome fear, beginning with personally knowing the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.

What do you fear?  Are you tired of it yet?

Wrecked Again? Fear Again?

God continues to let me work on my fear issue.  “But, I thought we were done with that, Lord?”   

My well broken-in, kid living, mom mobile golden van got hit again.  This time, the new damage happened while parked in the street in front of a friend’s house.  Unfortunately, the sliding door got smashed, missing my “deer” ding just a couple of feet away.  My van has had its share of body work, two visits to the shop in the last four months.  First: Driver side bumper rearranged from a hit and run.  Second, driver side spoiler fell off, my fault (really ought to write a blog on that one J).  (Oh no, I shared too much.  Now you won’t want to buy my van!)   I finally got an estimate from the insurance company yesterday.  I shared my fear with her.  “What if the door doesn’t operate correctly months from now?”  Her response, “Well it works now.  We can only fix the damaged body work.” 

God reminds me not to worry about the “what’ifs”.  But I’m so good at the “what ifs”.  What if I find out my husband is in a car wreck?  What if my children have a deadly disease I don’t know about?  What if my house burns down?   What if…  Sadly, I usually don’t stop with the “what if”.  I then dwell on the terrible consequences, as if my “what if” were true.  God speaks to me and says,

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  (Matthew 6:34)
How?  The verse right before this one, gives us the answer.  Matthew 6:33   says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (emphasis mine).


This is just one step God continues to teach me to overcome unwarranted fear.  Check back, I’m sure I will share the other two steps sometime.  I’m sharing this at a ladies’ retreat next week (I don’t want to give all my points away J).  (Wish I could only use “old” material, as if I’m fear- free now).

 (I'm still having problems downloading pics to my blog.  So, you will just have to imagine my dented van.)