Need Love?

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Well, it's the week of Luuuvvv (deep voice).  Because I'm married, I should put some thought into Valentine's plans.  But with three young girls, Valentine's on Thurs. night, and a busy week as usual, we may have to celebrate another night.  (Actually day time may be better since I turn into a pumpkin at 10:00 p.m.).  I do need to buy him a card, though (and write in it how sweet he is).

For some people, Valentine's week is hard.  Maybe they have recently lost a life long mate, or a child that they can't say "I love you" to anymore.  Or, their "happily ever after" marriage dream ended too suddenly.  Some remain single, giving up on the love of a mate.

For others, difficult relationships bring disappointment and a disillusionment about others.  People disappoint.  Some even hurt others in different ways.  As a result, sometimes people have a hard time trusting others.  Sadly, for protection, they may not allow other people to get close enough to love them, in fear they will be disappointed or hurt again.  They may think, "And forget loving others, its too painful when others may not love me back as I expect". 

Sadly, when people have been hurt by others, they may think God loves them in same way (not much).  They may feel unlovable.  They may think they don't deserve God's love, which is true.  No one deserves it, God's love is a gift.  Yet , they may try to act lovable, working to gain God's approval.  When someone can't accept God's love for themselves, they will have a hard time loving others. 

The opposite is true.  When people realize what a consuming love God has for them and accept His love, they can begin to love others in return. 

Want to love?  Maybe love again?

Allow God's perfect Love change your heart.     

HOW?

Acknowledge God's Love 

God IS love (His very nature).  I John 4:8 says, " The one who does not love does not know         God, for God is love."

Accept God's Love  John 3:16   “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." (NLT)

After you accept God's love, you can then...

Abide in God's Love  John 15:9  says, (Jesus speaking) "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love".

Remain in God's love.  How?  Obedience.  John 15:10 says, "If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love."

Obey what?

"LOVE ONE ANOTHER"

Obey by action.

Act in God's Love   John 15:12 says, (Jesus speaking) “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you." (emphasis mine)

Why did God have to command it?

Besides He knows what is best for us, He must command it because it is difficult. I've never demanded my children to eat their dessert. I don't have to because it's too easy.  I do, however, have to demand they eat their veggies before they get dessert. Why? Because sometimes they, "just don't like them," or they "just don't want to," Or, my favorite, they "just don't feel like it." Sounds like my excuses not to love sometimes.  {Aren't you glad Jesus didn't love only when He felt like it.  I think of the time right before His death when He told the Father 'he didn't feel like it' (different words, of course)}  And sometimes we don't want to love because we feel the person doesn't deserve our love.

How should we love?  "Just as I have loved you."  (John 15:12 again)

How did Jesus love you and me? (How he wants us to love others)

He loved us when we didn't deserve it.

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (emphasis mine)

He loved me without demanding me to love Him in return.

I John 4:10 says, "This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." (NLT)  He loved us first!

Oh, and by the way, He loved us by dying.  John 15:13 (Jesus says), "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."  (Foretelling His death)

Ask for God's love to love others

John 15:16- 17 (Jesus speaking) says, "¹⁶ You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. ¹⁷ This I command you, that you love one another. (emphasis mine)

And finally,

Approach the day of judgment with confidence in God's Love

I John 4:15-17  ¹⁵ All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. ¹⁶ We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. ¹⁷ And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. (NLT)

God wants you to allow Him to love you.  In turn, You love others.  Where are you in the process?

 

Fear or Love of God

                                   LOVE


After I wrote my last post, "Motivated by Fear or Love" (check it out here if you missed it,  http://stacyneus.blogspot.com/2013/01/motivated-by-fear-or-love.html), I asked myself, "What about my relationship with God?"  Do I relate to Him out of fear or love?

You can ask yourself these same questions.

1) Do I feel secure that God loves me?

2) Do I know God wants the best for me?

If you answered "yes" to #1 and #2 you may be relating to God out of love.  If you answered "no", you probably relate to God out of fear.

Steps to relate to God out of love.

1.  Understand God's LOVE
When you realize the Bible describes God's character of love, you will understand how you can love Him back.  God absolutely wants the best for you.  That doesn't mean what He thinks is best for you always matches what you think.  But, the God who created you, loves you enough to provide a way for you to have a friendship with Him.  You can relate to God with love.

When you don't understand God's love, you may try to please Him by "doing" good.  And you try to please God because you are afraid of what He might do to you, fearful He will harm you.  You may think, "If I just pray more, or if I just give more to the poor, then God will be pleased with me."  You only ask for God's mercy (not punish you when you deserve it).

2.  Understand God's GRACE 
In reality, God says you can never do enough good works to earn a relationship with Him (Ephesians 2:8-9).  It is a gift (grace).  When Jesus died on the cross, He paid the penalty for your sin.  If you believe in the Jesus of the Bible (the God of love) you too can relate to God with love.

But wait!  Doesn't the Bible say we should fear the Lord?  Yes, it does.  And sometimes the Bible says "Do not fear."  Does the Bible contradict itself?  No.  The word "fear" can be used in different ways. 

3.  Understand God's positive "FEAR"

Proverbs 14:26 and 27 says, "In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, And his children will have refuge. 27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, That one may avoid the snares of death.

Here,the Bible uses the word "fear"very positively and differently than what we might think of when we use the word "fear".  We think of cowarding in the corner because we are frightened.  The word "fear" here means, "fear, terror, fearing; awesome or terrifying thing (object causing fear); fear (of God), respect, reverence, piety; revered."*   According to these verses, the result of this "fear"is "strong confidence, refuge, fountain of life, avoid the snares of death."   This is definitely not cowarding in a corner.   We should fear God, respect and revere Him, because of who he is (all-powerful, perfect, hates sin) and not for what He might do to us.

I shouldn't leave out the "Do not fear."  One of the first "Do not fear" messages (over 70 x in Bible)**, God says to Hagar regarding Ishmael (Gen. 21:17) God heard the lad crying ; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter with you, Hagar ? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is.
Hagar was not to fear because God saw her and would take care of her and Ishmael (HIS LOVE, AND GRACE). 

So we've come full circle.  When we "fear" God as He deserves, we can know His love and grace and relate to Him out of love, not duty or negative, cowarding fear.

Lastly, because we can relate to God as a Father/daughter (or Father/son) relationship, I think of my girls.  I want them to obey me, but not out of duty, or obligation.  I want them to respect me, not because I demand it (which I wrongly do sometimes), but because I deserve it (probably don't sometimes, but I am their mommy).  I want them to obey me out of love and respect.  God wants the same for us.  He deserves love because HE IS GOD.  Yet, He does not demand it.  We choose to obey him, or not.  He would love our lives to reflect His love in this fearful world. 

What about you?  Do you act out of love or negative fear?
How can this change?  Remember His Love, His Grace, and positive Fear.
 

*http://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/hebrew/nas/yirah.html

** http://www.biblestudytools.com/search/?q=Do+not+fear&c=&t=nas&ps=10&s=Bible

 Linked up with:Jolene Engle, http://www.lauraboggess.com/, http://www.thebettermom.com/, Kathy at cornerstoneconfessions; A Holy Experience

Motivated by Fear or Love

A friend of mine told me her mother that lives out of state is coming to town soon.  I thought that was great news, but she didn't agree.  I'm still trying to figure out her relationship with her mom.  But I've gotten the feeling her mom puts pressure on her to be perfect.  The last time she visited, her mom commented that her kleenex box had dust on it.  Her Mom may have meant nothing by it (or maybe she did?), but my friend took it as, "Great.  Even the kleenex box is inspected."  My friend had a list for her home to be "perfect" when her mom arrived.

Can you relate?  It may not be a clean house, but you have some perfection pressure.

Maybe at work your boss is hard to please.  Haunting, unrealistic deadlines leave you frustrated.  You work so hard, yet rarely feel you've accomplished enough.  Or, maybe it's not a boss.  It's perfection pressure you've dumped on yourself.

Or at home: If you are married, the pressure of a "perfect" marriage.  Children bring "perfect" parenting nightmares.  Single, divorced, or widowed have pressures of their own.

Physically: You must have the "perfect" body.  You must eat healthier, drink your water, cook more and eat out less, exercise, blah, blah, blah.

I could go on and on, but it stresses me out too much. 

It hit me today.  The pressure I put on myself to have life together comes from one of two different motivators.  I'm either motivated by fear, or motivated by love.

If I'm motivated out of fear I:

1) Expect recognition
2) Expect perfection
3) Experience frustration

For example, when I clean my house for my family and I'm motivated by fear, it may look like this.  I work hard thinking, "I need to get this all done to please my husband (which he usually doesn't care about perfection, and would rather have clean underwear).  If my house isn't perfect, he won't love me as much (exaggerated fear, of course).  I work only to get the job done, wondering what else I could be doing with the time, grumbling and complaining.  I scrub with a bad attitude trying to meet the perfection standard.  If my husband gets home and doesn't say anything about my clean house, I've failed.  My perfection standard leaves me frustrated.  Again.  No wonder I get defensive if he notices the one chore I didn't finish.  I  say, "but I did ____, and _______, and ______."  Why?  Motivated by fear.

However,
If I'm motivated by love I:

1) Don't need a pat on the back, or words of affirmation.
2) Don't strive for perfection, but satisfied with a job done with my best effort.
3) Don't freak out about work that seems redundant or mundane.

So my cleaning effort looks like this:  I clean my house because I love my husband and girls.  I use my time to sing praises at the top of  my lungs, pray for others, and practice scripture memory.  When I dust, I ask God to show me what parts of my life He wants to clean.  When my husband comes home and asks me for clean socks when I didn't do whites that day, I say, "I'm sorry.  I didn't wash whites, but I would love to do them for you."  No excuses.  No bad attitude. (My husband is still waiting for the day of no excuses). Why?  I want to be motivated by love. 

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

You can apply this motivation question to any task at home, work, or school, and even church.
What about you? What motivates you? Fear or Love?


Linked up with:Jolene Engle, http://www.lauraboggess.com/, http://www.thebettermom.com/, Kathy at cornerstoneconfessions; A Holy Experience

Eureka! Springs and More

HOPE S.H.A.R.E.D. (Share How Abba Relates Every Day)

Palace Bath House, Eureka Springs, Arkansas

My husband and I enjoyed a quick getaway to Eureka Springs, Arkansas while two daughters went to church camp and the third got spoiled by grandparents. The first afternoon, we caught the trolley downtown, shopped the quaint stores, hiked paths not on the map,  marveled at a historical "haunted" hotel, caught a $10 limosuine with a mock fireplace inside back to our bed and breakfast, ate chicken fried streak and the works, and finally, exhausted, watched the Oklahoma City Thunder win. The next day, we hiked to see local "must sees", ate tasty catfish, went to an exotic cat rescue center, ate an awesome prime rib dinner, walked around the Great Passion Play campus (play not scheduled on Sunday), and relaxed.  I would recommend Eureka Springs if you live anywhere nearby. (Next time we will watch the Great Passion Play). The history of Eureka Springs intrigued me.  Before 1850, only Indian legends spoke of the "magical waters" of Eureka Springs.  In 1856, Dr. Alvah Jackson,  the first white settler to "discover" the healing springs, used the healing waters to cure his son of an eye ailment.  The waters were later used at "Dr. Jackson's Cave Hospital" for combatants during the Civil War.  After the war, Dr. Jackson sold "Dr. Jackson's Eye Water" for a profit.

In 1879, word about the water spread quickly after the doctor's friend and hunting companion, Judge J.B. Saunders, was cured of a crippling disease at Basin Spring.  Mr. Saunders promoted the springs with his considerable influence.  People flocked to the area in search of water.  The word "eureka" means "I found it!".   By the end of 1879, an estimated 10,000 people had found the water and moved into the area.  Only two years later, Eureka Springs was the fourth largest city in Arkansas, all because of water. This account reminded me of a story in the Bible, where sick people flocked to the water of the pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem.  The story, found in John 5, tells about a man sick for thirty-eight years, waiting among the crowd at the pool for his turn to get into the healing waters.

John 5:6 says, When Jesus saw the sick man, He knew he had been ill for a long time.  He asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

John 5:7 reads, “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.” (John 5:4 explains that when an angel stirred the waters, only the first one to enter would be healed). 

Can you imagine lying on the side of the pool, waiting and waiting.  When the time comes to get in, you struggle to get on your hands and knees to crawl into the pool.  You're almost there, when someone walking steps in before you.  Disappointed.  Rejected again.  No hope.  You return to waiting.  

Jesus told the sick man, "Get up.  Pick up your pallet and walk."  Verses 9-10 say, "Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! But this miracle happened on the Sabbath, ¹⁰ so the Jewish leaders objected. They said to the man who was cured, “You can’t work on the Sabbath! The law doesn’t allow you to carry that sleeping mat!” (The Jews had many unwritten rules regarding work on the Sabbath.  One of the rules considered carrying your  mat as work, which would break the law of the Sabbath).

Can you imagine, finally healed after thirty-eight years of sickness?  You stand amazed.  Yet more astonishing, people around you are not rejoicing, but pointing a finger at you that you broke a rule!
John 5:11-18 says, "But he replied, “The man who healed me told me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.'"¹² “Who said such a thing as that?” they demanded.  ¹³ The man didn’t know, for Jesus had disappeared into the crowd. ¹⁴ But afterward Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.” ¹⁵ Then the man went and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had healed him.  ¹⁶ So the Jewish leaders began harassing Jesus for breaking the Sabbath rules. ¹⁷ But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.” ¹⁸ So the Jewish leaders tried all the harder to find a way to kill him. For he not only broke the Sabbath, he called God his Father, thereby making himself equal with God."

The sick man's eurekas.  He laid helplessly searching for healing water.  In the mean time, he discovered these "I found it" truths about Jesus:

Eureka# 1.  Jesus:  All Knowing
Look back at the bold in John 5:6.  Jesus knew the man had been sick for thirty-eight years.  How?  Because Jesus is God, He is all-knowing.

Eureka # 2.  Jesus:  All Powerful
Jesus healed the man without him using "miracle water".  He healed him with His power, demonstrating His power over sickness.  As God, Jesus is All Powerful!

Eureka # 3. Jesus:  All Loving
This may have been his most life-changing discovery about Jesus.  The man did nothing to deserve Jesus' healing.  His healing had been denied every time he missed the stirred waters, as if he would deserve healing if he was the fastest.  Yet Jesus healed him just the way he was, fast or slow, demonstrating His great love for him. 

Jesus didn't care about the day of his healing, Sabbath.  Look at the bold in John 5:17 that says Jesus is always working to change lives.  Jesus didn't care that this healing on the Sabbath and his words calling himself God (John 5:18), would cause the Jewish leaders to try harder to find a way to kill him.

Jesus expressed his love to heal the man's physical body.  More importantly, he warned the man about sin effecting his spiritual, eternal body (John 5:14).

In John 5:24 Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life."

Have you discovered the all knowing, all powerful, all loving Jesus?  f so, are you rejoicing when Jesus changes a life, or pointing a finger like Jewish leaders?  If you know Jesus, are you leaving people waiting for water to stir, or leading them to the spiritual healing source, Jesus?




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